Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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