All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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