Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Randomize
