how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
