I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
