Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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