Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
