She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
