Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
