I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Randomize
