Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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