Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Randomize
