they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
