Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
no you cant smoke seaweed
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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