please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I just want nice things and good sex
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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