I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
