Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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