your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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