I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
