all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
