Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
