Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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