Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
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