i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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