Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
