I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
