i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
