you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Randomize
