sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
