I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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