I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
