My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
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