Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
