dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
