I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
