exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
