i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
