When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
