He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
