I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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