I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
