If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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