Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Randomize
