I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
