dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
