Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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