Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
No...this little piggys going to the bar
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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