I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
