just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
