Me. At least after what I've been through.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Randomize
