I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
