What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
