You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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