who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
she looked like the before picture.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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