We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Randomize
